“Denial is the most predictable of all human responses. But, rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.” ….The Architect sharing his wisdom to Neo.
Denial is a very predictable human response. Instead of listening to my intuition that was telling me that the job I had was a dead end job, I somehow believed that I would make a difference. I ignored the fact that I had worked 380 hrs of unpaid overtime and received no raises or bonuses during the two year time frame I was an employee. I believed that karma was on my side because I was doing the right things, and in turn the company would do right by me. I continued to be a good worker bee, even after they transferred me to another department, abolished my position, and gave me the opportunity to interview for a lower level position in my old department. I was insulted by the fact that I had to interview for a level 2 job that I had already been doing as a level 3. I was in denial and desperate enough to do it. I was being predictable in every way, until for some reason I can’t explain, I decided that I wasn’t going to be a worker bee anymore.
Have you ever noticed that your co-workers who are assholes rarely get fired and even when they do, they always seem to land on their feet? I used to wonder — why does karma reward them, it just doesn’t seem fair. I am reminded that right and wrong is of human origin and that the sense of fairness does not always land on the side of those who do the right things. The worker bee mentality is one where you always feel like or end up being the victim.
I realized that I could no longer in good conscience be the same type of worker that I have been in the past. I had what you could call a mental reboot, my friends would probably tell you that I had a mental break. The sun didn’t come up the next day like it did in the Matrix, however I did have a few new ground rules about how I plan to be moving forward. First and foremost, I am officially retired in the corporate sense. I have no desire to work under the premise that I will be promoted or look forward to raises. Work to me is nothing more than an exchange of goods and services between employer and employee. I figure that keeping this perspective will keep me motivated and focused on pursuing other streams of income. I refuse to ever again setup my workspace as a home away from home. Whatever I can fit in my backpack is all that I will take with me to work. I decided that I would strip away all the layers of bullshit and accept the fact that I am strictly in it for the money.
I decided that I can no longer follow the doctrine of the herd mentality. The day I do become employed again, I am going in with the attitude from day one that the employee/employer relationship is a two channel affair. I consider my time to be of high value, and while on the clock the company will get the best that I can give. However, I do not give out freebies, there will be no unwritten expectation that I will work additional hours and not receive some type of compensation. If that is the case then they need to go find a worker bee to hire. I am no longer interested in climbing the corporate ladder because chasing it has become nothing but fools good to me. My Matrix has been rebooted.
